Woah dat Mama big…


I.WAS.HUGE…There was no denying it…Me and my massive baby bump. The bump I now miss.

I can now talk about the fact I sported an enormous baby bump. I didn’t get that cute little bump, I didn’t get some amazing pregnancy glow. Instead, I got back pain, I got the Kim Kardashian ankles (also known as cankles – you know where the calf and ankle merge into one), I stopped fitting into my MATERNITY jeans – that stretchy bit just wasn’t stretchy enough by the end, I was tired..I had chipmunk cheeks…I was categorically a big baby mama and I had to learn to love it and embrace it!

So much so, I was given an induction date (bringing my due date forward) as they were concerned my baby could get stuck mid-labour! I mean, WTF?! As if I wasn’t already nervous, I was then told my baby could get stuck…marvellous.

So on that, I was very much aware I had a big bump. My doctors were very much aware I had a huge baby bump and so were the commuters on the London Underground who could see me coming a mile off and would literally scatter off those seats letting me and my cankles sit down (didn’t say there weren’t some perks ;))!

Here is a list of comments, actions I witnessed with my massive bump:

  1. “You are HUGE” – Yes, thank you…I do own a mirror, I am fully aware I look like a whale.
  2. “Are you sure it isn’t twins” – Well f*ck, if the scans have missed that, someone is getting a law suit on their hands.
  3. “You will never make it to your due date” – What the actual F?! HOW is that helpful. Hey new mum, your baby is going to premature.
  4. “How is that big baby gonna get out” – No idea, no idea.at.all. But thank you for reminding me.
  5. I even had someone lift up my sweatshirt to check out the bump. I was horrified, my friend looking on and frantically looking at me waiting for me to lose my sh*t. Surely with a bump that big, you don’t need to remove a layer of clothing without my permission to have a better look?!

There were so many instances where I was told how massive I looked. It wasn’t the nicest to hear, but ultimately, I didn’t really care, I had my baby boy, nicely cooking in there and if he needed a little bit more room then fine, I can deal with that.

But seriously, before being pregnant, I am 100% sure I said all of the same comments. I never meant them with any malice, and I don’t think anyone who commented on the bump thought that either. and now that I have almost deflated, I can talk about it, I can say it is ok.

Don’t worry mama’s to be. You ROCK that baby bump, big or small, embrace the bump…I really do miss it! Plus…it had its benefits…Such as being used as a table..


The Milk Spot





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